First purple running toe….

So I have received my first purple running toe! It will probably lead to my first lost toenail, which happens to most runners. I am utterly excited about this tells me I am still an official runner. Due to this purple toe I have gained a new perspective that has made me realize I need to get in gear. The determination that I had before is almost nonexistent. I enjoy running but my pace time as decreased and my yearning to run varies from day to day. It is like pulling teeth trying to get me to run now. I tell myself I will run in the morning then I wake up and decide to go at night. By that time I am exhausted from working all day I put it off till the next day and the vicious cycle begins.

This purple toe was the cause of running on the treadmill for 10 miles without socks. I needed to train for the Chicago Half Marathon, forgot my socks and I knew that if I went home to get them I would not come out. So there I was with no socks at the gym and the only option was to run. So I ended up with a purple toe and here I am looking down at it and realizing that the toe was due to forgetfulness and not for hard work. For that I am extremely shameful. I don’t want to say I got my first purple toe because I am an idiot but because I trained for something I really enjoy.

I still really enjoy running. If I had more time and if my two jobs weren’t taking up all my time I would run more often. Of course I have always had two jobs and running was my ultimate 3^rd job for a long time. Yet, now something has changed. The pain is gone and happiness is what has replaced it. I always said I am extremely thankful for what running did to me. I vowed to never stop running because I only saw one way to give back for what it did to me, and that is to keep running.

I ran yesterday morning and I struggled. I don’t like that feeling. It’s a shame I ran 13.1 miles in 1:57 and cannot do 3 miles in less than 30 minutes. I look down at my toe and I feel it throbbing and saying to me what a sorry excuse for a runner I am. Although, it is also probably begging for a new pair of shoes, which is something else I definitely need to work on. I vow now and to anyone reading this that I will not have this purple toe in vain. I shall remain running from now on. I will go to my room when I get home and write on my bathroom mirror, “Purple toe not in vain” to remind me when I am trying to be lazy!

In Memory of Mohammed Sedqy

 (from left to right: Joey and Mohammed Sedqy, Kike and Adan Rodriguez)

With life comes the realization that it is often just one cluster f*** of senseless acts and evil people. Most people don’t get to witness hate at its worst or even darkness. The fact that life brought this to my brother’s forefront really pisses me off. I have spent all my life hoping and doing the best I can to shelter my brother’s from this, only for an ugly lifeless sorry excuse for a human to cause them pain by murdering their best friend. On September 13, 2011 Muhammad Sedqy was murdered in front of an east Austin home due to a conflict for a girl so selfish the devil himself would not want to wed. He was stabbed four times and the murderer fled and he later died at the hospital.

If you met Mohammad you would know he was a gem of a person. Always a smile on his face and if there was a difficult situation you can bet Mohammad would see light at the end of it. I would visit my mother every weekend after I moved out. I can bet that he would be across the street yelling out to me, “Hi, Vanessa” smiling from ear to ear. My brother’s had been friends with him since we moved into that neighborhood in 2001. Mohammad was Kike’s age and Joey was close to age with my younger brother Adan. The other one was David who lived a couple of houses down the street. If you came near them when they were having a conversation good luck trying to decipher what they were saying. They had so many inside jokes and lingo they had all together created their own language. These boys were the best of friends and it always made me so happy to know they had childhood friend just like I did growing up.

Ironically enough, he passed away the day I was in Chicago hanging out with my childhood friends, Roxann and Laura. I facebooked later that day that I cannot imagine the pain my brothers were feeling and knowing that never will they have the opportunity to take a trip with him just like I was doing at that very moment. I know life takes different turns and BFF’s that we wrote in letters ultimately fade to text messages of possibly planning a one year get together. If this taught me anything is that the people that make you the happiest should always be in your thoughts. Life is too short and things happen so don’t lose the chance to tell someone you love them.

Taking the life of a 23 year old is beyond my comprehension. Goes to show the theory of Locke is correct: “Man is by nature a social animal,” and “society creates order and grants the state legitimacy.” I strongly believe people are savages because they have the mindset to know right from wrong. Instead, laws have to be created to remind people that they cannot do those things. In this case such individual deems himself above the law and commits heinous crimes that affects many people including himself. I dislike people for many reasons and this is one of them. You never know how cruel they can be until you see what he is capable of. Both were someone’s child, lover, and friend. They were both loved but someone dearly and unfortunately the one that was defenseless lost his life while the other lost his freedom.

We love you Mohammed and you will be sorely missed. I will make sure to still say hello when I come over to my mom’s house as if you were still there.

Road Trip 2011

After coming back from my 2 week vacation I got the constant, “how was it?” The only logical way in describing it was, incredible. I cannot describe how amazing this two week vacation and on which level of amazing it all fell in. I definitely have to say that this was the best vacation I have ever taken only because nothing was off limits. We did everything we wanted and there was no time of “no I don’t feel like doing that right now” or anyone else holding us back from doing it. We definitely know our vacation style now and it is road trips and being in the great outdoors.

We started off on the road on Saturday around 1pm. The late start was due to wanting to celebrate my mom’s birthday before I went on vacation. I stopped by Barnes and Nobles to get a copy of The Help because when I got back my mom wanted to watch the movie. I had to make sure to read the book beforehand. Then our journey started soon after. It was perfect how it happened. If we would have left earlier it could have helped but then I would have missed all the stars in the sky at 2am and the darkness that fell upon New Mexico when we arrived. It was a pitch black that was not appreciated until the morning when I woke up to utter bliss and awe. I tear up just thinking about it because it was such a beauty to see and I wish I was there again now. We woke up and headed for a small tour around the pueblo. Oh and did I mention the temperature!? It was amazing! Coming from Texas seeing the temperature drop 10 degrees before your eyes was great! I had my hand out the window trying to remember what that temperature was like, none came to mind.

The rest of the time we spent driving around New Mexico and relaxing before my half marathon that I had planned that weekend. We visited Los Alamos, which was where the first atomic bomb was created. Santa Fe a beauty of a place with a shopping center called Old Town. Drove around in the Jeep with the top down and I didn’t care if my hair was a giant mess when we arrived back at the house.

The day of my half marathon was a cool brisk morning. It was a half marathon so not many people participated but it was still nice. I was super nervous because my pace was not a good one leading up to this half marathon and I had only ran twice leading up to the race. I think I did a good job though. I stopped only to get a drink and even though I wanted to stop so many times I didn’t. When I was done I received the best gift I could receive, Sam being there. It was just like a splash of cool air to see him cheering me on. As my boyfriend I can say he is definitely my best friend, my worst critic, and my demanding yet supportive coach. I burst into tears when I was done, as I do with many of my races, and so proud of myself. I was now ready to feel the pain that came along with not running and the subjecting myself to 13.1 miles, and so it began.

After the half we were ready to start the second part of our road trip. Destination Arizona, a peek into Utah, and a two day stay in Las Vegas. If any of this part was my favorite besides New Mexico, of course, it has to be Arizona. We planned a one night camping trip at the Grand Canyon and a tour into Utah to see Monument Valley. In Arizona we took a detour into Glen Canyon Dam and the most beautiful place I have ever been to, Horseshoe Bend.  We saw the sign and literally passed it and immediately turned around. We saw the postcard in the Visitor’s Center at Glen Canyon Dam but because we weren’t going to visit it because we thought it was far from where we were I didn’t buy it. That is what I regret the most of my entire trip. We thought it was going to be a short walk to over the hump only to see about a mile of sand to what looked to be where the Bend was. Let me tell you it was worth it. I have no words to describe it and all I can do is feel my eyes tear up…again, and feel the tingling inside of me just like when I saw it. We left there in utter awe just happy to be alive and to be there with each other. Now on to our next stop on the trip, the Grand Canyon.

This had to be the best drive anyone can ever take. It was remote driving through little towns with probably around 5 cars on the road the whole time we were on it. Mountains on each side and every time you take a curve you see a different side of the mountain and it takes a different shape. We were driving right to the Grand Canyon while the sun was in our face. It was like we were driving right into the sunset. Magical. Again, heading into the Grand Canyon we got in right when it was dark so we would have to set up our tent in the dark. Then also not knowing if one false step would have us fall in the depths of the Canyon itself!! When we missed the turn to the camp we had to do a U-turn. Going forward was a bit scary because it seemed we would go into a ditch or the Canyon!  We set up camp, made dinner, and drank Dos Equis with the full moon over us and just enjoyed the night. The weather was a cool 40 degrees!!! It was incredible! In the morning we woke up and headed to the Canyon which wasn’t too far. We got out of the truck headed to the edge and OMG!! You thought I was mystified by Horseshoe Bend?! This was incredible!! Seeing this first thing that came to mind was…and people still think that God exists!! This geological formation of beauty so intricate and enormous! I mean it was mindboggling and I was just incredibly reduced to size in an instant. I was crying with every step I took. We took two more hikes around the Canyon and then we had to leave to our next stop, Las Vegas, NV.

This part of the trip is going to be short. We spent two days there and Sam and I both wish we had cut it to one. We definitely agree that it was nice to go there experience it but we have no desire to return, unless subjected to it with a bachelor/bachelorette party. We ate at a fancy restaurant, hung out by the pool, walked the strip, and watched a Burlesque show. If there is anything to be said about Las Vegas it is that it’s expensive and you get all walks of life in a second in that city than you would think you would get anywhere else. Been there done that, check, move on!! If you want to know how I really feel, if I haven’t made a point of it already, the greater things in life are free and Vegas proved that. The entire trip we had spent no money due to just going on hikes, enjoying the sunsets on the porch, and just driving through towns with the windows down and purely enjoying things like Horseshoe Bend and Glen Canyon free of charge. We spent everything in Vegas without a single nickel being put into a slot! Ridiculous, but again different strokes for different folks and I would much rather hike up a mound to see the beauty of a formation than sit mindlessly in front of a slot in a smoky casino.

We headed back to New Mexico and the vacation was drawing to an end. I was growing sadder and sadder knowing I would leave soon and head back to the congestion of what Austin was becoming, the rudeness of people that are invading the city, and the heat of Texas that has come with no rain. We drew our stay to the last second and leaving on Sunday at 10am instead of the day before. The only good thing about the trip was that at 11pm at night in Texas we stopped on the side of the road because we were able to see the Milky Way in the sky. It was so humbling to see such a beautiful site before having to go back to the hustle and bustle of city life. I fell in love with New Mexico. Throughout the trip Sam and I have planned to live there soon. I have my heart and soul set on that and if anyone knows me they know that I make good on my goals and New Mexico will be my new home someday.

I wish I could tell you every single episode of our trip but with it comes things that I cannot describe in words and inside jokes that only Sam and I could find funny. We are now starting to plan Road Trip 2012 and we are spending every day hiking and camping. If we step foot in Nevada it will only be to camp in the Great Basin which is the darkest place in the country and perfect to see the whole night sky!!

With love from,

Cottonwood (Wolsie) Wash & Tucker Flat Wash