So, Christmas was not only a day to be with family but also the day my ex-bf's from the past decided to think of me. Here I am minding my own business living my life and they still manage to try to manipulate their life into mine.
The first one was a h.s. boyfriend that did something very horrible to me. I do not wish to speak of the specifics for the shear fact that I am over it. I do not wish him anything but the best, but what I do want is him out of my life in any way. I dealt with the situation at a very young age. I had to do something very difficult and his lack of support is everything I needed to know what type of person he is. That being said after high school he tried to contact me to apologize and I told him I never wanted to hear from him again. I understand he now has a family and is in the Army and I am very happy for him. So, to get back to the topic at hand I believe he called me at my mother's house and asked for me. My mom told him I wasnt there he said his name and told her to wish me a Merry Christmas. Gasp! Really, guy!? Is that necessary all I can think of is he needing to have me redeem him of his guilt. Yet I see none of that happening anytime ever. Some may think, okay so you are not over it, but yes I am. I do not feel the need to open this pandora box and the explosion of feelings that I have put away. Like I said they were dealt with at a very young age and I think I made the decisions necessary without his help and for me to do all the things I did by myself says a lot. Now if he feels guilty for the lack of effort he put into it then that is his burden to carry not mine. If he feels I need to forgive him now then he is talking to the wrong person. Because the only person that can do that for him is himself. I am alright with the situation I have no guilty or malice towards him. If he feels like a dark cloud is over him he needs to fix that himself. On to the next fool....
This was my high school sweetheart. We were together for 5 years. After a while though I started to notice that the things we did were all things he liked to do. If I wanted to do something I would do it by myself because he didnt want to do them. We were the best of friends and towards the end I realized that all the things we shared together were things he liked and everything I liked were non-existant. For goodness sakes if I wanted to go out he would let me go under the conditions that I bought him a new video game he could entertain himself with while I was gone. That was not the life I wanted to live any longer. I admit I was the girl that totally broke his heart. I never wanted to have that title but there was no way I could let myself be that girl...like Pau says "yo no soy esa mujer que no sale de casa y pone todo a tus pies lo mejor de su alma". I know he still loves me and cares for me like no other guy has but his tantrums are unbearable and it has put a strain in my stress level and relationships. I told him I would never stop being is best friend no matter who came along, but after a while if I could not make time for him to watch a game or get a bite to eat he would act like a child taking his cookie away. Start getting upset and making me feel guilty, if you ask me I dont think he has any right to treat me like that and I to put up with it. No friend should do that, thus the reason I slowly started to drift a wedge between our friendship and let him deal with his own tantrums so I wouldnt have to deal with them. The only thing in this equation was the fact that my mother loves him! She always speaks of how great he was and how she misses him . So the fact that he left a gift at my mother's house outside the door this Christmas Eve with a $50 gift card to Texas Land and Cattle ampted up my mom once again about this topic. I was really upset about this only because I knew what he was trying to do, basically come back into my life after the last crap he pulled because I did not attend a football game with him (something we both shared)..the fact that I told him that I was watching the game in my gear was not enough..he needed me there! Once again throwing the tantrum I let him have at it and this little papelito is another one of his ways to wedge himself back into my life. I am not having it. On to the next fool....
The good thing about this one is that he didn't call or text. The most recent bf that I had for 3 years that broke my heart this year was the only ex that did not call. I am profoundly happy for that. He text me on Thanksgiving and I never replied and I believe that he has gotten the hint. I do not intend to have him in my life and I wish him the best and I hope that he finds that person that makes him happy like I never could. I thought that I would never be able to say these words but here I am a better person and the happiest I've been in a long time.
Ex's have their place and I have tried the whole "being friends with your ex" thing. I do not think it works because regarless of the situation and how much you try, you keep reverting back to the past. Everytime you hang out you remember the good ol' days and wonder why it didnt happen. Some even continue to be friends with their ex's and cannot move on and question why they just cant try again. I do not think I am a bitch by not wanting these guys in my life... what I am doing is giving another an equal opportunity to come into my life and offer me something that those couldnt. By keeping my ex around it would only strain that and keep me thinking about them and not allowing me to give myself completely to another. They are all great guys that will make someone VERY happy yet they could not make me happy and vice versa. We should just leave it at that say our goodbyes...C'est la vie.
