My boys are grown.

I helped raise two handsome young men, my brothers.  Yet, what I regret more than anything is taking them for granted when they were younger. All I could remember is me screaming at them, pulling their hair, and hitting them because they would not listen. Now, if you ask them how I was with them they will tell you I was the best sister they can ever have. I feel terrible about that because I feel I wasn’t. As a young teenager the duties of having to take care of your younger bratty brothers was a nuisance. Yet, I wasn’t left with many choices. But I do not think I would change that for the world because it has made me the person that I am today.
This week I realized my baby brother was turning 20. The kid that sucked his thumb and pulled on his curly hair was no longer the baby that I fed and took care of. He is now a grown man, that although does not know where his life is headed, is still not my baby anymore. I cried for an hour realizing that I cannot turn back time. That nothing I can do will protect them from the world anymore. They are the ones that have to make those decisions, create their own life and deal with the consequences. I feared this day and now it is here.
I have recently started making sure I tell them how much I love them. Hugging them to make up for all those times I didn’t while they were younger. I know that they appreciate all the time I took care of them but somehow I still don’t think that was enough. They are the two men in my life that will love me unconditionally, help me when I am sad, and always be there when I move. Although, they do drive me up the wall my life would not be what it is if it wasn’t for them. They have always been like my children and it hurts to know that I cannot shield them from the world anymore. I have devoted my life to be a good example and although I have not succeeded I have lived my life for them. They are the best boys I can ever ask for. I am just waiting for the women to come in their lives that will ultimately take me and my mom’s place.
When I called and sang Happy Birthday on his voicemail he replied: I just heard your voicemail! I love you sis you are the world to me all three of ya’ll are. I cannot count how many times ya’ll have been there for me. I love you and I know I can always count on you and I look up to you and Enrique all the time. Ya’ll are great people to look up to and have taught me a lot. 
This is my greatest accomplishment.