Finished! 5:58:48.

It is over! No, not really. The goal of being in the Austin Marathon was to run the whole thing. Due to my injury I was told not to run for 6 months until my stress fracture healed. I did not run for two months due to the injury and was indecisive about running the marathon and getting a deferment till next year. Well the time of the marathon came and my best friend and friend (who also has an injury due to ligament in knee wearing out) told me we should still run it. The week before my run I cycled at the gym everyday trying to prepare myself as much as I could for this thing. Many people did not agree with this decision. But at this point there was nothing that I wanted more than to run.
The day before the marathon came and my stomach was in knots analyzing the situation and wondering if I was going to break my leg. I spent it picking up my packet (while biting my lip), watching t.v. (while biting my lip), and then ending it with a big meal of pasta at Olive Garden (while biting my lip between courses).
In the morning I just wanted to cry. I hoped that I would be okay and that my leg would just be good enough to help me finish and not cause any major damage to the point of never running again. I know in many people’s eyes the idea of running with such an injury is ridiculous. The overall health of my leg needed to be put into perspective. But if anyone understood how heavy my heartfelt I would hope they would understand. If they didn’t there was nothing else I could do about it because I was going to lift this pain that had been haunting me for a year today with or without their consent. I was shaking and teared up a couple of times on my way to downtown Austin.
I stretched and silently whispered to my leg to be on its best behavior. Making promises of never wearing heels again in hoped for a compromise. Hoping that just by sending good vibes to my dense bones it would magically heel and allow me to do all that I could without fear. The national anthem was sung and the clock started. Like a herd of cows similar to all the races I have participated we take off.
I was feeling so good! I was missing this part of my life that I had embraced. On mile three I started to slip back away from the girls. It was bad enough I had made the decision to run the least I can do is pace myself.  Running had never felt so good. I ran 10 straight miles before telling myself I need to conserve my energy.  I knew I wasn’t capable of running the whole thing. The idea was to do the best I could to finish. I could have gone longer but I decided not to. I walked for a while then ran. I made sure that I did not stop for too long.
After a while I my leg started hurting. It wasn’t in the same spot where my stress fracture was but lower around the ankle. I stopped and if I didn’t run for a while it would go away. Then if I started up again and tried to do more than one mile it would start hurting. For the rest of the race I ran one walked one ran one. It was all so encouraging when people along the way were cheering and providing food. So, I would like to believe that my leg was in tune to all this and was trying to put its best efforts in.
On mile 22 I started feeling discomfort when I ran even less than a mile. I walked mile twenty four and twenty five to make sure as hell I ran my 26.2 all the way to the finish line. I cannot say how many times I wanted to cry. All these emotions of not being able to run the whole thing, the people cheering and the pain that was happening both when I stopped due to the soreness already invading and my ankle. Coming up ahead was finally the 26 mile marker that I so anxiously wanted to see  25 miles back. As soon as I made my way to that marker I just ran. Let me tell you the Austin Marathon staff had no mercy on us marathoners. The few miles back before the 26 were nothing but flat streets. The last mile was hilly and right before you turned the corner to the finish line was a hill I curse to this day. I don’t know what it was but that last mile was so beautiful regardless of its obstacle. I turned the corner towards the Capitol and another towards south Congress to see the finish line in all its glory almost extending itself to me in an embrace. I know it sound corny but I have never been so relieved to see anything that mundane give me such relief. All I could think of was its over!!! I grabbed my metal and shirt and realized that it wasn’t over.
The goal was to run the whole marathon and that never including walking. Therefore, regardless of whether I said I would never do that again that day, that is not the truth. I HAVE to run the marathon again completely in order to live with myself. The pain inside my heart is gone I have managed to move on and realize that things happen because they just happen. You are a creator of your own destiny. The choice should always be to let things go and move on. At the other end of the finish line will always be something better. If not you can always take your Calcium pills, Glucosamine, and fish oil to make sure you reach the true finish line that will hopefully have what you have been seeking.
Austin Marathon 2012, see you soon.